Getting Hijacked (by Carlee)

Like any good organization with interesting and diverse people, Floricane is full of unique idioms, phrases and lingo. When I was recently asked to choose, I had to say my favorite Floricanism is “hijacked.”

I’ve seen it used to describe distraction.

Ex:  “Yeah, Carlee, I was paying attention to you until I was hijacked by ::insert any of my favorite Nashville phrases such as ‘Bless your heart’ or ‘Boy Howdy’::”

I’ve seen it used it to describe being emotionally overtaken.

Ex: You’re driving down the road when another driver so rudely cuts you off.  Immediately you go into a blind rage or perhaps you use other types of exclamatory remarks ::not among my favorite Nashville phrases::.  This can be an emotional hijacking of sorts.

There are many opportunities when our thoughts, feelings, and focus can be hijacked from our control. 

Now, forgive me as I hijack the conversation to discuss a recent International Coach Federation’s program on The Power of Choice.  The discussion was about the power of emotional intelligence and how we make choices. The particular focus was on those moments of crisis or conflict when we feel before we think. We are vulnerable to emotional hijacking (apparently it’s not just a Floricane phrase) and when it happens, we say or do things that negatively affect those around us.  We can lose control and fail to think before we respond. At The Power of Choice program, we were challenged to think about what could happen if we stop, take a breath, and intentionally choose our response in those moments.

When we do this, we choose to pause and respond constructively instead of being emotionally hijacked.

If you’re able to pause in a moment of high stress, then you can take the time to discover the most effective response.  Does your response align with who you truly are, with your values or with how you want the world to receive you?

Do I get emotionally hijacked?  Of course.  However, it’s incredibly empowering to remember that, ultimately, I do have a choice, and I’m able to choose to react in line with who I know I truly am.

Fulton Keeps Rising

It's been two years since Peter Fraser and I teamed up to tackle a neighborhood building initiative with Virginia LISC. Our six months of working shoulder-to-shoulder with the residents of the Greater Fulton community in Richmond's East End was humbling, educational and fulfilling. I continue to stay curious about the Fulton community, and am always excited when I hear more evidence of continued progress -- a real testiment to the residents, and the team at LISC.

This morning, I attended the City of Richmond's 2nd Annual Business Recognition Breakfast. There were plenty of familiar faces in the room, and some truly fantastic businesses receiving recognition for their success. I have to say that the single best moment of the morning was to learn about Dhakar Dental, which opened a dental office last fall in the medically underserved Fulton community. Dr. Dhakar and his team not only employee six local residents, but they already boast almost 500 patients. There was not a dental office within walking distance for the 5,000 families in Fulton until Dhakar Dental opened.

And that's what makes the work of community building and change so fulfilling.

Basketball Illuminates the Individual v Team Leadership Rift

I first learned about the importance of self-awareness, supporting the success of others, and the fine balance between individual leadership and team performance from a guy named Guy. A Texan, Guy Clumpner pushed all of my buttons initially -- perhaps he was telling me more about myself than I wanted to hear at the time -- but the work he, and others, had done transforming team cultures in San Antonio was illuminating. Guy works for the original Caterpillar equipment dealer, Holt Caterpillar, a family-owned business. The family also owns the San Antonion Spurs.

Both teams -- Holt Caterpillar and the Spurs -- have spent an inordinate amount of time and energy focusing on the leadership lessons of Ken Blanchard and the importance of values-based leadership. This morning, NPR sports commentator Frank DeFord talked about what makes the Spurs so simultaneously exceptional and forgettable.

"In basketball, as in life, we may dutifully celebrate the aggregate, but we're always spellbound by the exceptional," says Frank Deford.

The Spurs have won four titles, and may be on their way to a fifth. They've become the fourth most successful franchise through exceptional teamwork and solid understated performances. I suspect their exposure to effective team and leadership practices has been as important as their ball-handling.

Seven Brainstorming Lessons (by Carlee)

Just last week Caroline and I were tasked with creating a video for the Summer of Self-Discovery series.  Creating this video was one experience full of many insightful takeaways, some lessons more profound than others.

As we jumped into the task, there may or may not have been looks of uncertainty passed between us as we wondered what kind of video we would be able create in one day.  These looks quickly turned to looks of excitement as we started brainstorming and thinking of idea after idea.    

We dreamed.  We sketched.  We scoured the office for props. 

Lesson #1: Two brains are better than one

Lesson #2: No idea is a completely bad idea

Our incredibly brilliant idea of taping ourselves writing on the whiteboard, full of high fives and amazing shots of the back of our heads quickly came to a halt when we realized there were no dry erase markers to be found. 

Lesson #3: Always have dry erase markers on hand

Never fear, Caroline and I changed course, found a large roll of white paper, and went to work on our new vision.  Since our materials were now a bit more permanent than dry erase markers, we knew we had to be a one-take wonder. 

We went to work.   As we wrote out our message, added flair with glitter, and laughed at the process, our excitement for the idea began to fade.  We looked at each other and both felt that this was not working.  The vision of how our idea would play out was not playing out the way we imagined.  Our great idea was less than great.  {If 1E was full of sound effects, we would have heard a nice  “womp womp” in the background}

Lesson #4: Sometimes you can’t see the beauty through the mess

Lesson #5: Glitter makes everything better, even when it gets cut from the video.

We tried a few other takes and finally Caroline uttered the words I had been dreading: “Carlee, you’re going to have to be on camera.”

Well, what’s an intern to do except take one for the team. What felt like 4 very awkward takes later, Caroline released me. 

I left Caroline with tons of footage.  This footage may have been very questionable, but it was footage nonetheless.

Fast forward to Sunday night.  I see the video, and it’s amazing.  

I had no idea the magic that Caroline had up her sleeve. She managed to take a mess of disjointed, possibly unusable footage and turned it into an amazing video.  And as amazed as I am at her editing skills, I am also thankful my scenes made the cutting room floor.  (I’ll pay you later, Caroline)

Lesson #4: Trust the process

Lesson # 5: Sometimes the mess IS the beauty. It’s there you will find the happy accidents.

In the end, I think it’s safe to say that we both learned that risks can pay off.  And my final lesson:  if all else fails, laugh at the blooper reel.

A Time To Play (by Carlee)

Before I walked into 1E to begin my internship with Floricane, and even before I walked the hollowed grounds of Vanderbilt’s Peabody College as a graduatestudent, I walked the colorful halls of a children’s hospital.  I was given the privilege and honor of working with patients and volunteers.  In my department in the children’s hospital, we lived in a world that played.  

Yes, I was paid to play. 

We played to build relationships with patients.  We played with toy medical equipment to help patients learn about the new things they would see and experience.  We played to help kids express themselves.  We played to help reduce the stress of the hospital. 

And sometimes we played to, well, play. 

A catch phrase we often used was “Play is the language of children.” 

So imagine my surprise and delight when this familiar language reappeared at Floricane.

In graduate school, we rarely talk about play, and I surely didn’t expect it in my internship.  But sure enough, when talking with John about my goals for the summer, he invited me to “play in this space.” 

This may have been the first time, but I doubt will be the last time, I hear this language used.  I don’t have to look much further than the brightly colored walls, the Legos sitting as desk ornaments, the chalkboard painted flower vases, or sharpies or colored pencils galore to know that this is environment that supports play. 

What a great opportunity I’ve been given to learn, explore, take risks, and try new things all in this safe and positive space. 

Play may be the language of children, but I think while I explore this new world of Floricane, I’m going to speak that language too.

Write the Future

I spent an hour of my weekend listening to Bono chatting with Charlie Rose. It was an hour well-spent. Toward the end, he mentioned guitarist Nile Rodgers, who got his start playing with the Sesame Street Band and went on to form the band Chic, produce albums with a huge array of musical luminaries, and write tons of music. Here's what Bono said:

"He came from a rough place, and when he wrote "Good Times" or "We Are Family" it wasn't that it was where he came from -- he wrote the future he wanted to live. He wrote so that he could have those good times."

So, what future are you writing?

11 Lessons from a Facilitation Marathon

And then there are the weeks when you barely even come up for breath, when it’s client engagement after event after workshop. That was the caserecently when I glanced up to see the calendar for the week was almost completely booked with solid blocks of activity.

We started with a team alignment session in Williamsburg with the emergency department leadership at Bon Secours’ Memorial Regional Medical Center, followed by a te am retreat with the staff of the Virginia Poverty Law Center. Midweek found our team huddled with a project group representing the Virginia Society of the American Institute of Architects. We wrapped the week with a workshop on leadership for a large group of board and staff leaders with the Virginia Society of CPAs.

In the moment, the lessons that bubble up from intense back-to-back work feel ephemeral. As breathing space emerges, however, so do the lessons.

Here are 11 things I learned, relearned, or affirmed during our busy mid-May marathon:

  1. Emergency department physicians deal with team alignment issues in exactly the way you’d expect – diagnosis is quickly followed by treatment and action. It wasn’t surprising that we ended our day early. And with a plan.
  2. Very early morning meetings are the worst. But they’re not as bad as a very early meeting + a one hour commute.
  3. It’s great to engage with new clients. Work with new groups is laden with new discoveries, and opportunities to be curious about entirely new areas.
  4. It’s great to reconnect with long-time clients.  Working with people we know is comfortable, familiar and fun. Planned well, it is not rote!
  5. All meetings should be held at the Roslyn Retreat Center overlooking the James River, especially on sunny, spring days. If Roslyn’s not an option, meetings should take place in any 500 square feet of the 54,000 square foot Branch House.
  6. Never underestimate the value of an extra mind. Having a thought partner at the table makes breaks productive, and helps our facilitation keep up with changing group dynamics.
  7. Never underestimate the value of an extra set of hands. Collecting 200+ Sharpie markers, Post-It Notes and more than 800 Insights Discovery playing cards is hard to do in 15 minutes. Even with help.
  8. You cannot get any other work done easily on weeks you are facilitating for 35 hours. Or plan the dinner menu for your family.
  9. Accountants are pretty smart.
  1. The answers are already in the room, and the best facilitation happens when we let our clients answer their own questions.
  2. One of the best aspects of our work is the variety – of relationships, of experiences, of learning, of engagements.